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Kinda had a meltdown tonight. Didn't get any sleep last night, long day at work, fucking tired when I got home. Guess I was shorter than usual. Made a sharp comment that led to hurt feelings, painful discussion, and me crying. Part of me recognizes that the tiredness directly correlates to the tears. My emotions are most raw when when tired. But the other part of me is scared that it means the depression is not being controlled.
Talk to therapist about this:
When party A says something unintentionally hurtful, and party B reacts to it and then A and B try to discuss it... how is A not supposed to feel criticized when B is explaining feelings?
Talk to therapist about this:
When party A says something unintentionally hurtful, and party B reacts to it and then A and B try to discuss it... how is A not supposed to feel criticized when B is explaining feelings?
posted by psychoselph at 10:19 PM
2 Comments:
Sorry to hear about the meltdown. I don't think it means you've lost any progress or that the meds aren't working, but that doesn't make it easier to bear in the moment.
My therapist would say something along the lines of: "You can't make anybody feel anything. You can explain what you meant by the comment you made, and from there it's up to party B to feel however they're going to feel about it."
Easier said than done, eh? But it can be rather freeing.
Oh God, how many times have I heard that? And not just from the therapist. But it's one thing to intellectually "know" something, and another to stop that autonomic response. Okay, maybe it's not autonomic. But it is certainly a well-ingrained behavior at this point. I'll try to be more mindful of it.
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